


ok maybe im not a writer but what the fuck are you gonna do about it (or i write absolutely horrible fanfic of stick figures)(its a soulmate au cause that shits good)

by splendakun



Category: Henry Stickman (Video Games)
Genre: I didnt try, M/M, This is Bad, hyper fixation, hyperfixation go brrrr, it isnt supposed to be good, please dont read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:01:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26744068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splendakun/pseuds/splendakun
Summary: please, if you want to enjoy yourself, go read something else
Relationships: Charles Calvin/Henry Stickmin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	ok maybe im not a writer but what the fuck are you gonna do about it (or i write absolutely horrible fanfic of stick figures)(its a soulmate au cause that shits good)

**Author's Note:**

> please dont read this. its not good. i barely capitalized. i barely punctuated. its really bad. if you want to feel a rollercoster of emotions and be left with gooey feelings, go read something else. if you want something that you can quickly read and laugh at, then read this i guess. i made is as a nice funny haha. i did this instead of learning. don't expect much.

intro or shit let gooOOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOO

-charles pov i guess-

oh my fucking god

my life really needed to make it that fuckin easy to find him. it pretty much went "hey your soulmate is this motherfucker here he is lemme put him right in front of you" 

no actually that is exactly what happened.

ok lets start at the beginning. for no explained reason, whenever your Universe Assigned Soulmate™️ commits a crime, a tally mark appears on your skin. and how big the mark is depends on the absurdity of le crime. forgetting to pay for a pack of gum, a mark that is barely there.   
now killing someone, thats a pretty big mark, but thats just plain death. killing a man by cutting off his toes and forcing them down his throat so he chokes and dies, thats a much bigger mark. now breaking into a bank, breaking out of jail in only an hour, and stealing a literally unstealable 50 pound diamond in also, only an hour, those are some pretty big tally marks. now guess what my fucking soulmate did. take a wild fucking guess.

and it was always fucking like this. not as obvious, but just as absurd. yknow, having a few fairly visible marks is not very common for a 7 year old child. what crimes do you even commit as a child to warrant this. but now they’re just small and scattered compared to the big ones.

yes, the ones that just pretty much said "hey, there he fuckin is, on the news, doing crime" the first mark, when he broke into a bank, isn’t as big as the other 2, but still pretty alarming. waking up with a mark bigger than all the other ones before, then seeing on the news later that day, "dumbass breaks into bank using shitty disguise" but know, that could be a complete coincidence, right? well, literally the next day, i form an even bigger mark. what do i here about in the next 15 minutes "BREAKING NEWS: that idiot who broke into a bank yesterday? he just broke out of jail in under an hour using mainly plungers. more at 6" ok, now that cant be a coincidence, but i still had my doubts, yknow. well the last one just fucking sealed the deal. only a week later, cause he has the need to commit crimes or something, the biggest fucking mark appears at 12:42 am. guess what i hear about 10 minutes later. "BREAKING NEWS: that imbecile who broke out of jail in under an hour? yeah, he just stole the tusanian diamond, presumably also under an hour. he got away, too. what the hell is this guy made of." so I, a helicopter pilot for the government, am soulmates with probably the most wanted and skilled (and attractive) criminal in the world.

but oh no, it doesn’t end there, no. I am to assist someone that the government called to do one of our most ambitious missions yet, infiltrating a toppat airship. well who did the government track down to practically place in front of me. none other then the man himself.

I, a government pilot, whose life is to the law, Charles Calvin, am standing in front of my soulmate, the best criminal in the world, whose life is to crime, Henry Stickmin.


End file.
